Hi my name is Kali.
I am absolutely obsessive with:
The weird things nobody likes.
and many more I just have to find them.
Feel free to ask for recommendations for books or anime :)
I took this picture cause I knew this story was tumblr worthy.
So I had been sitting in my big white van behind the lowell building, not going to class, and staring happily at a brick wall.
out of the corner of my eye, i notice a man coming up the alley, slow down a little past the car, but ultimately keep going.
the term ‘weirdo’ passed my mind, and I locked the doors even though any actual threat was minimal, and soon I was staring at the wall again.
Not less than 5 minutes later I heard a knocking at the passenger side window. I look over, and it’s the same weirdo who walked by the car before; Except now he looked particularly nervous and had his nose pressed against the glass.
I should mention that I never felt particularly frightened of this man. he was quite skinny, and seemed extremely skittish and fearful both when I saw him starting up the alley, and now, as he knocked.
Anyway, I rolled down the window slightly and asked “can I help you?” with one eyebrow raised and a general look of confusion.
he gestured at me with his chin, and said with an equally confused tone “you…eh…you…sex?”
We had a moment of silence.
Eyebrow still raised, and before I knew what was coming out of my mouth, I raised both my hands, shook my head and said “I’m wearing mittens”.
He immediately started shaking his head up and down as if he understood, and practically started sprinting away.
I lowered my hands after a minute and I….
I can’t tell which is funnier: The fact that this strange man thought I was some sort of portable hooker, parking my van behind churches and waiting for patrons, or that my proof against being a hooker was the fact that I was wearing mittens.
this is one of the strangest interactions between two confused human beings i’ve ever heard of
You’re just meat.
Reek! That’s a good name for you.
"1. push yourself to get up before the rest of the world - start with 7am, then 6am, then 5:30am. go to the nearest hill with a big coat and a scarf and watch the sun rise.
2. push yourself to fall asleep earlier - start with 11pm, then 10pm, then 9pm. wake up in the morning feeling re-energized and comfortable.
3. erase processed food from your diet. start with no lollies, chips, biscuits, then erase pasta, rice, cereal, then bread. use the rule that if a child couldn’t identify what was in it, you don’t eat it.
4. get into the habit of cooking yourself a beautiful breakfast. fry tomatoes and mushrooms in real butter and garlic, fry an egg, slice up a fresh avocado and squirt way too much lemon on it. sit and eat it and do nothing else.
5. stretch. start by reaching for the sky as hard as you can, then trying to touch your toes. roll your head. stretch your fingers. stretch everything.
6. buy a 1L water bottle. start with pushing yourself to drink the whole thing in a day, then try drinking it twice.
7. buy a beautiful diary and a beautiful black pen. write down everything you do, including dinner dates, appointments, assignments, coffees, what you need to do that day. no detail is too small.
8. strip your bed of your sheets and empty your underwear draw into the washing machine. put a massive scoop of scented fabric softener in there and wash. make your bed in full.
9. organise your room. fold all your clothes (and bag what you don’t want), clean your mirror, your laptop, vacuum the floor. light a beautiful candle.
10. have a luxurious shower with your favourite music playing. wash your hair, scrub your body, brush your teeth. lather your whole body in moisturiser, get familiar with the part between your toes, your inner thighs, the back of your neck.
11. push yourself to go for a walk. take your headphones, go to the beach and walk. smile at strangers walking the other way and be surprised how many smile back. bring your dog and observe the dog’s behaviour. realise you can learn from your dog.
12. message old friends with personal jokes. reminisce. suggest a catch up soon, even if you don’t follow through. push yourself to follow through.
14. think long and hard about what interests you. crime? sex? boarding school? long-forgotten romance etiquette? find a book about it and read it. there is a book about literally everything.
15. become the person you would ideally fall in love with. let cars merge into your lane when driving. pay double for parking tickets and leave a second one in the machine. stick your tongue out at babies. compliment people on their cute clothes. challenge yourself to not ridicule anyone for a whole day. then two. then a week. walk with a straight posture. look people in the eye. ask people about their story. talk to acquaintances so they become friends.
16. lie in the sunshine. daydream about the life you would lead if failure wasn’t a thing. open your eyes. take small steps to make it happen for you."